Good Shepherd Newsletter 12

Staff

Competency 12: Food & Mood

Posted by Holy Family Counseling Centers Staff on April 20, 2020

We have reached the time of year when society returns to the idea of renewal, treating the turning of the calendar as a jump-off point to make changes so that the next year will lead us to a better version than we are now. Most oft en, these resolutions involve some form of eating healthy and exercise. Nearly as oft en, these resolutions are forgotten within a couple of months as life begins to take hold and priorities shift . Fear not, while we will cover the topic of healthy eating in this newsletter, it will not be in the same vein as a resolution to lose weight or gain muscle (both worthy goals). In our monthly web conference following this newsletter, we were asked about how the food we eat, and when we eat it, can have an effect on our mental health.


A. The Second Brain

Have you ever had a ‘gut feeling’ or ‘butterflies in your stomach’? These are more than just sayings but physical symptoms that can also have an affect on our reactions. Th e link between our gut health and mental health has become a focus of much research in the past 10 years. Dubbed “the second brain” , our gut is not only responsible for communication with the brain for the necessities of eating and drinking, it is also responsible for 90% of the serotonin (one of the ‘happy’ hormones) produced in our bodies. In addition, a healthy gut can help us combat stress and is beneficial for our overall immunity as there are hundreds of millions of bacteria that live and thrive inside of us.


In order to have a functioning gut-brain duo, it requires wholesome nutrition. Think of your body as a fine tuned sports car. Sure, it will run on regular unleaded gas, and you are bound to get miles out of it, but how much better will it run when you give it the premium unleaded, allowing it to handle all of the blind curves and bumps in the road of life? When we look at the food we eat, the regular unleaded is oft en the highly processed foods; fast food, sodas, sugary snacks, etc. Th ey off er a boost and allow us to keep moving, but that may also lead to potential damage and the need for costly maintenance. Foods that are more nutrient-dense; fresh fruits and vegetables, fatty fi sh, and legumes are the premium fuel that not only keep us fueled, but also help clean the system as they are burned through.


When we experience depression or anxiety, this has a direct effect on our digestive system, often speeding up, or slowing down how quickly food moves through our system and how much nutrients our body takes during the process. Oftentimes, people who are severely depressed will lose extreme amounts of weight (think about someone suffering the loss of a longtime spouse). Meta-analyses of various diets have shown that people who maintain nutrient rich diets, or change to nutrient rich diets, show a 25-35% decrease in depressive and anxious symptoms.


B. Food and Your Mood

Snickers marketing department jumped on the idea of the gut and brain being linked. Their commercials showing that people aren’t themselves when they’re hungry have become one of the most memorable ad campaigns of recent years. The idea that when we are hungry that we can become angry, hence the term “hangry” has become a popular term. Do you realize in your own life when lack of food, or lack of the right food, affects how you are treating yourself? Or other people? A simple step to understanding our eating habits is to give attention to what and when we are eating. The morning donuts are great, but they also cause a sugar crash a little while later that can make us feel tired or keep us dragging. Coffee is one of the best morning drinks and has tons of health benefits, but coffee too late in the day can begin to disrupt our natural sleep cycles, which also can have a negative affect on our mood. Understanding how different food effect our well-being has numerous benefits to our overall mental, physical, and emotional health. And eating healthier doesn’t necessarily mean foregoing all that we love to snack on.


As a matter of fact, this scripture is a wonderful reminder that it is a good and godly thing to find satisfaction in the food we partake of. In Ecclesiastes (3:13) we read, “That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” awareness of what we are eating does not mean that a fad diet is the answer. Eat, drink, be satisfied, and thank God for what he has blessed us with (this writer thanks him for the jalapeno sausage roll from QT, but only once a week!).


C. Tips for Food to positively affect your mood

Our individual views of food, the medications we take, the stages of life we are in, and where we are from will always be a large part of how we view food and what we may consider nutrient rich, or a snack. However, there are some common tips that can be followed that research has shown to be most beneficial for our health. The website Mind.org offers the following advice for healthy eating:


Eating regularly: The vulnerable person allows their emotional process when they’re having a rough time, but knows that they have the resources and abilities to find their own path and get their needs met. They can ask for help but won’t take a ‘No’ as a personal slight. They will respect another’s autonomy to set a boundary.

Quick tips:

  • Eating breakfast gets the day off to a good start. •
  • Instead of eating a large lunch and dinner, try eating smaller portions spaced out more regularly throughout the day.
  • Avoid foods which make your blood sugar rise and fall rapidly, such as sweets, biscuits, sugary drinks, and alcohol.

Staying hydrated: If you don’t drink enough fluid, you may find it difficult to concentrate or think clearly. You might also start to feel constipated (which puts no one in a good mood).

Quick tips:

  • It’s recommended that you drink between 6–8 glasses of fluid a day.
  • Water is a cheap and healthy option.
  • Tea, coffee, juices and smoothies all count towards your intake (but be aware that these may also contain caffeine or sugar).

Getting your 5 a day: Vegetables and fruit contain a lot of the minerals, vitamins and fiber we need to keep us physically and mentally healthy. Eating a variety of different coloured fruits and vegetables every day Whatever your diet, why not do some research into other foods that contain protein, and find something new to try?


Managing caffeine: Caffeine is a stimulant, which means it will give you a quick burst of energy, but then may make you feel anxious and depressed, disturb your sleep (especially if you have it before bed), or give you withdrawal symptoms if you stop suddenly. Caffeine is in: tea, coffee, chocolate, cola and other manufactured energy drinks.

Quick tips:

  • If you drink tea, coffee or cola, try switching to decaffeinated versions.
  • You might feel noticeably better quite quickly if you drink less caffeine or avoid it altogether.
  • Avoiding coffee after 2pm is also ideal.


Eating the right fats: Your brain needs fatty acids (such as omega-3 and -6) to keep it working well. So rather than avoiding all fats, it’s important to eat the right ones. Healthy fats are found in: oily fish, poultry, nuts (especially walnuts and almonds), olive and sunflower oils, seeds (such as sunflower and pumpkin), avocados, milk, yogurt, cheese, and eggs.

Quick tips:

  • Try to avoid anything which lists ‘trans fats’ or ‘partially hydrogenated oils’ in the list of ingredients (such as some shop-bought cakes and biscuits). They can be tempting when you’re feeling low, but this kind of fat isn’t good for your mood or your physical health in the long run.means you’ll get a good range of nutrients.


Looking after your gut: Sometimes your gut can reflect how you are feeling emotionally. If you’re stressed or anxious this can make your gut slow down or speed up. For healthy digestion you need to have plenty of fiber, fluid, and exercise regularly. Healthy gut foods include: fruits, vegetables and wholegrains, beans, live yogurt and other probiotics.

Quick tips:

  • It might take your gut time to get used to a new eating pattern, so make changes slowly to give yourself time to adjust.
  • If you’re feeling stressed and you think it is affecting your gut, try some relaxation techniques or breathing exercises.

Getting enough protein: Protein contains amino acids, which make up the chemicals your brain needs to regulate your thoughts and feelings. It also helps keep you feeling fuller for longer. Protein is in: lean meat, fish, eggs, cheese, legumes (peas, beans and lentils), soya products, nuts and seeds.


Conclusion

I once asked a nutritionist the best way to view the food I was eating if I wanted to eat healthier. Her advice was to stop looking at foods as good or bad, as a reward or punishment, but rather in the sense of needed and not needed. Fresh fruits and vegetables are needed for your body, the Caramel Macchiato is not. The essence of eating right, and keeping our moods regulated, is to focus on the things our body needs more than the things it wants. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31. What if you sat down to dinner every night with a heart of gratitude for the plate in front of you, knowing food was a way to care for the gift of the body God has given you?

When and How to Make Amends: Discernment, Boundaries, and the Catholic Call to Healing

By Peter Attridge, PhD • November 11, 2025
As a Catholic therapist, I often sit with clients who are wrestling with a deeply human question: When is it the right time to make amends ? Whether it’s reaching out to someone who has hurt them, or considering their own responsibility in a fractured relationship, the process of healing often leads us into the tender territory of reconciliation. But forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t the same thing. Forgiveness is something we’re called to offer freely—an act of the will that releases resentment and gives us peace, even when the other person hasn’t apologized. Reconciliation, on the other hand, is a step that involves two people. And discerning when—or even if—that step should be taken requires wisdom, prayer, and often, boundaries. Let’s explore how we can approach this process with care and courage, supported by both therapeutic tools and the richness of our Catholic faith. Discerning the Right Time to Make Amends Discernment is a familiar concept in Catholic life. We use it to seek God's will in big decisions—vocations, careers, relationships. But it’s just as important in the smaller, more personal moments too, like choosing when to reach out to someone who has hurt us, or someone we may have hurt. Therapy can be a valuable space for this kind of discernment. Sometimes the desire to make amends comes from a sincere place of healing and readiness. Other times, it may be driven by guilt, pressure, or a longing for closure that the other person may not be able to give. In our sessions, I often help clients explore their motivations. Are you seeking peace, or permission? Healing, or validation? Discernment is about honesty—with yourself, with God, and with your emotional limits. St. Ignatius of Loyola offers a helpful framework for discernment rooted in prayerful reflection, noticing the movements of the heart. If the thought of reconciliation brings a sense of peace, courage, and compassion, it may be time. If it stirs anxiety, dread, or a sense of obligation, it may be wise to wait, or to approach things differently. The Role of Boundaries in Forgiveness and Healing One of the most common misconceptions I hear, especially among people of faith, is that setting boundaries is somehow un-Christian. But in truth, boundaries are acts of love —toward ourselves and others. They help define what is safe, respectful, and life-giving in a relationship. Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to continue harming us. Christ calls us to forgive, yes, even “seventy times seven” times (Matthew 18:22), but He does not call us to abandon prudence or endure abuse. Remember, even Jesus withdrew from hostile crowds at times (John 10:39), and He taught that reconciliation involves both repentance and change (Luke 17:3-4). In therapy, we often work on developing “healthy boundaries” that allow us to engage with others from a place of strength and safety. For example, it’s okay to forgive a parent for past wounds without allowing them to manipulate your present life. It’s okay to love a sibling from a distance if closeness continues to result in harm. And it’s okay to hope for reconciliation without forcing it to happen. Boundaries are not walls; they are gates. They give us the freedom to let people in—but only when it is healthy and appropriate to do so. Making Amends with Compassion and Clarity If and when the time does come to make amends, whether as the person extending forgiveness or the one asking for it, approaching the conversation with humility and clarity is essential. We can take inspiration from the Sacrament of Reconciliation, where the process of confession involves examining our conscience, naming our sins, expressing true contrition, and receiving both forgiveness and guidance. Similarly, when making amends in our personal lives, we begin by acknowledging what happened—not defensively, but honestly. We share how the situation has affected us. We listen. We don’t demand immediate restoration, but we open the door to it. And sometimes, we might take that step and find that the other person isn’t ready. Or they respond with defensiveness, denial, or more harm. That’s when we return to our boundaries. Forgiveness is still possible, but reconciliation may need to remain a hope rather than a present reality. Spiritual Guidance Along the Way Throughout this process, our faith can be an anchor. Prayer becomes a conversation with the God who knows every wound and walks with us through every step of healing. The saints offer examples of both radical forgiveness and wise discernment. St. Monica, for instance, teaches us about perseverance in love and prayer without enabling harmful behavior. St. Maria Goretti’s story is often cited for her forgiveness, but we also remember her clarity in saying no to harm. And of course, the Sacraments nourish us. Receiving the Eucharist strengthens us to love like Christ. Confession helps us experience God’s mercy, so we can extend it more freely to others. Spiritual direction can also be helpful when navigating complex relationships and emotional burdens through a faith-based lens. Trusting the Slow Work of Healing Making amends and setting boundaries aren’t one-time decisions. They are part of an ongoing, unfolding process of healing. We may feel ready one day and hesitant the next. That’s okay. Forgiveness is not linear, and relationships—especially broken ones—rarely heal overnight. But I’ve seen firsthand the beauty that emerges when people engage in this work with courage. When they honor both their pain and their desire for peace. When they protect their hearts with boundaries, but still remain open to love. And when they trust that, even if reconciliation is not possible now, it may one day be—with God’s grace. In Conclusion If you’re in the midst of wrestling with whether to make amends, take heart. It’s not an easy decision, and it doesn’t have to be rushed. Therapy can offer tools and support. Your faith can offer wisdom and hope. And both can help you move forward with peace. Forgiveness will always be a part of the journey. But reconciliation? That’s something we discern, with prayer and prudence. And no matter where you land—whether you reach out, stay silent, or hold space from afar—you are not alone in the journey. If you haven’t yet read Part One of this series, I encourage you to explore the foundations of forgiveness and healing in both therapy and Catholic tradition. That post dives into the inner process of releasing pain and embracing God’s mercy—a powerful first step before considering reconciliation. May you be filled with gentleness, wisdom, and the peace that comes from the One who forgave us first. Forgiveness can feel impossible at times—but it’s also one of the most healing gifts we can give ourselves. If you're carrying the weight of resentment or hurt and feel ready to explore a path toward release and peace, therapy can help. At Holy Family Counseling Center , we create a safe space to process the past, understand your emotions, and move forward with intention. Connect with us when you're ready—we’re here to walk that path with you.

The Gift of Forgiveness: Healing Relationships Through Therapy and God's Mercy

By Peter Attridge, PhD • October 27, 2025
Forgiveness & Healing: Therapy and Catholic Perspectives on Reconciliation

Your Thoughts Lead the Way

By Irene Rowland, MS, NCC, LPC • September 16, 2025
We often have more control than we realize. I’m going to lead you through an exercise in order to illustrate this point. Visualize a tree with deep roots and a strong trunk leading up into beautiful branches and leaves. Oftentimes, we retain concepts better if we can see it mapped out. To that end, let’s do a little art therapy together and when you have completed your masterpiece, you can put it on your refrigerator or somewhere that you’ll notice it often: First draw a tree trunk with the roots showing. Under half of the roots write the word FEAR in dark, shaky, ominous looking letters. Under the other half of the roots write LOVE in happy looking handwriting (maybe pretty cursive if you dare). Vertically up the tree trunk write “thoughts/beliefs”. Now it’s time to add lots of branches, twigs, and leaves. Among these branches, add the wording “actions/behaviors” throughout the branches. If you are looking for extra credit, add a variety of nice healthy looking fruit and some rotting fruit with flies. Proverbs 4:23 states “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” In most circumstances, at the root of our thoughts is either fear or love. These thoughts then drive our actions and behaviors. Sometimes we are coming from a solid, healthy place and other times from a shaky, fear based place. This is worth looking at in order to grow more and more into the emotionally healthy individual we have the potential to become. All fear based thinking is not detrimental obviously. God created us with healthy fight or flight instincts for when we are in actual danger. This is of course a good thing. For purposes of learning how to live a more emotionally balanced life, we’re looking at thoughts that come from an unhealthy fear which could potentially drive behaviors and actions that don’t serve us well. Thoughts Drive Behavior There are ten top cognitive distortions. Let’s break this down a little. Cognitive means having to do with the brain. Distortions are things that are twisted, so basically cognitive distortions are twisted, unhealthy or irrational thoughts. We have more control over our lives if we operate from a place of clear, healthy, rational thoughts. Everyone experiences some of these types of thoughts so it’s good to know that it’s “normal”. It’s what we do with these thoughts that matters. Do we buy into the lie that we’ve told ourselves or do we remind ourselves of the truth? If you tracked these negative thoughts throughout the week, it would be surprising to see how often this happens. Let’s look at the top 10 cognitive distortions. They’re not in any particular order but we each have a pattern of our “favorites” that we default to when we engage in what some call “stinking thinking”. All or Nothing Thinking - also known as black and white thinking. Usually things in life aren’t 100% one way or the other and the truth is somewhere in between in the gray area. Words such as never and always fall into this category. The words usually, often and sometimes are probably more truthful in most circumstances. Overgeneralizing - an example would be seeing an event as a never-ending pattern. A student with good grades being concerned that they’re going to flunk a course because of one failing quiz grade is a good example of this. Mental Filter - dwelling on the negatives and ignoring the positives. When this happens, the mind dwells on the glass being half empty. This is not only discouraging for the person who chooses to live this way, but also makes it difficult for others to be around them often. Discounting Positives - an example is not giving any credit for that which is good in a person and only paying attention to what needs improvement. Jumping to Conclusions- the thoughts don’t always match the facts. There are subsets of this type of distorted thinking. One is Mind Reading when we assume we know what the other person is thinking for instance. This is a common relationship issue. We need to state what we have to say instead of believing the other person already knows. Fortune Telling also is a way that we oftentimes falsely decide that we know how something is going to happen. We all know those who have had something negative happen in the morning and then decide that this is going to be a bad day. Their negative thinking is usually what propels the rest of the day to be less than desirable. Their self-fulfilling prophesy informs how they choose to handle the rest of the day. Magnification and Minimization - making things larger or smaller than they actually are. We’ve all seen a mountain made out of a molehill or something huge being discounted as being trivial. Emotional Reasoning - letting feelings be regarded as truth such as I feel unworthy therefore I am. Should Statements - when we use should/should not, must, have to or similar language about ourselves or others, we are self-bullying or other bullying. An example would be if a person thought that as a good parent they have to read a bedtime story every night to their child. The truth is that as a good parent, they get to/are happy to read a story nightly but they could still be a good parent without imposing this on themselves. A parent with a migraine could let their child know that they’re not feeling well and will read two stories the next night and still fulfill their idea of being a good parent. Labeling -calling oneself a loser for instance because you made mistakes, instead of stating the truth that you made a mistake. Self-Blame and Other-Blame -taking on blame that isn’t rightfully all yours or blaming others when the fault lies partially with you also. All of these unhealthy ways of thinking can cause us to have inappropriate responses to life’s situations. When we have a negative thought, we need to slow down and ask ourselves if it’s legitimately true or have we exaggerated or added incorrect meaning to a situation. When we operate from a place of truth, our behaviors are going to be more sane, more productive, life-giving and fruitful. Knowledge is power. Now that you know, practice paying attention to your thoughts. If they are true, operate from that place for the best outcomes. If the thoughts are not truthful and therefore won’t serve you well, it’s time to regroup and remind yourself of what the actual truth is. It’s ok to have your initial thought be an unlovely, negative thought that’s untrue. What matters is what you do with it. Hopefully your response is to turn it around into the truth and proceed from there. Looking for cognitive distortions can be like a treasure hunt. Your response of countering with the truth is pure gold. If this exercise resonated with you, try repeating the “Thought Tree” once a day for a week and notice one cognitive distortion you catch—then practice swapping it for a truer, kinder thought. If you'd like help applying these tools in therapy, please contact us at 678-993-8494 or visit Holy Family Counseling Center . If you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of harming yourself, contact local emergency services or the 988 Lifeline immediately. Small shifts in how we think add up—you're not alone on this path to greater emotional health.