Coping with Anxiety

Irene Rowland MS, NCC, LPC

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We are living in uncertain times. If you struggle with anxiety, it makes sense to have heightened anxiety with the added turmoil in our world currently. If you are new to the vulnerability of anxiety, than this turmoil may be especially troubling for you.


Anxiety can look different for each person, however there are some common symptoms. Some symptoms are: hyper-vigilance, difficulty sleeping, racing thoughts, irritability, change in appetite, feeling a general restlessness, and difficulty concentrating on anything other than what you are worried about. There can also be physical manifestations such as rapid heart rate, trembling, sweating, and feeling weak or exhausted. Symptoms can ebb and flow or increase rapidly leading to a panic attack.


You can experience normal anxiety which looks like uneasiness and concern in a stressful situation. Extreme anxiety, where emotions are too hard to handle and fear or worry takes over and affects your functioning in daily life activities, is when the help of a professional would be wise. We were created with a fight-or- flight instinct which is very helpful in times of an immediate danger such as a car speeding directly towards us. When we are not in immediate danger but have a sense of dread and of impending doom, we can become hyper-vigilant. This means always being on alert looking for what could go wrong. Hyper-vigilance takes a toll on our mind and body because we are always in fight-or- flight mode which can make us irritable and difficult to be around.


Anxiety is common and you are not alone. Luckily, you are not helpless against it, even though you may feel like

it at times. If your self-care strategies are not helping, then please consider contacting a therapist. Your physical,

emotional and spiritual health depends on the decisions you make to protect yourself.


Often anxiety is created by negative thoughts of the future, the “what ifs” and the possibilities of what could go

wrong. The key to getting to a place of calmness, peace, and even joy, is by actively reeling in those thoughts and

concentrating on the present moment. Presently you are probably sheltered safely at home with the comforts of food,

clean clothes and beautiful objects that make you smile such as photographs of happy times. If you live with others, this is a good opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper level, learn to communicate better, and enjoy each other’s company in new ways. Together you form a domestic church and you can explore what God might be showing you during this time of distancing from the outside world. If you live alone, now is a good time to get to know both yourself and God better, to learn new things or start new hobbies. Reading, journaling, allowing yourself to slow down and reflect are all good ways to regenerate and combat anxiety. Perhaps you live in a household with others that you don’t get along with and are in a difficult situation.


This would be a perfect time to seek professional help because the chaos in the current world situation combined with problems in your home life can increase the intensity of the current issues and worsen your home situation. There are many ways you can help yourself and take back control. You will need to build up a tool kit of helpful skills to achieve that calmer, happier place that you would like to be in. The first step is to have a schedule so that you have routines and a structure to your day. You don’t have to be rigid about it, but it’s a good framework. Having a plan in place gives a sense of control, purpose and things to look forward to. This also leaves less room for boredom.


Everyone’s schedule has been disrupted in one way or another since the pandemic got closer to home. Intentionally creating a new schedule is empowering and gives you a sense of normalcy. Grounding exercises are especially helpful for many and can give us back a sense of peace. There are many good resources to assist in this area, for instance using an app such as Hallow that you can download and use as a relaxation aid.


Grounding exercises keep us centered on what is happening right now, which helps us to feel safe. A simple way to be in the present moment, for instance, is to use your five senses. Ask yourself to slow down and notice what are five things you see? What are four noises that you hear? What are three things that you smell? What are two things that you feel? Lastly, what is one thing that you taste? You could intentionally prepare to self soothe in this way by keeping hand lotion in your backpack, chocolate in your purse, or photos in your wallet.


Also please check out the video by our therapist Erin Moore Prater which includes a grounding exercise.


Reminding yourself of what has helped you in the past is also a good resource. Writing down a list of all the constructive ways that come to mind when you have handled difficulties successfully in the past would be helpful. When you are in the middle of feeling anxious and having difficulty thinking, you can refer to your list to decide what action step you would like to take to help yourself. Other potential ideas could include going for a walk, praying, reading a good book, taking a bath, cooking something that is a favorite, trying a new recipe, calling rather than texting an old friend, playing a board game, gardening, listening to music, or watching a movie. The list is endless of what might bring you some enjoyment, be a healthy distraction or a way to be a blessing to others.


Concentrating on the cognitive skills that can help our mindset can also be quite useful. One of the ways to do that

might be to learn about cognitive distortions. This would help you to examine how to analyze your automatic thoughts

and the ways that they may not be serving you well. Using self- reflection by putting our thoughts under a magnifying

glass can be fruitful in general. With prior preparation, when anxiety strikes, we can remind ourselves of what is the truth and what is merely a lie that we have told ourselves.


There are ten main cognitive distortions or automatic unhealthy thoughts.


1. All or Nothing Thinking, we see things in black and white absolutes but often the truth is somewhere in the middle.

2. Overgeneralization, viewing a negative event as a never- ending pattern

3. Mental Filter, dwelling on the negatives

4. Discounting the Positives, insisting they don’t count

5. Jumping to Conclusions, assuming negativity and predicting things will turn out badly

6. Magnification or Minimization, blowing things out of proportion or shrinking their importance

7. Emotional Reasoning, conclusions from emotions rather than facts

8. Should Statements, this wording often results in emotional bullying of self or others

9. Labeling, basically not extending grace, instead of “I made a mistake” you tell yourself “I’m a jerk.”

10. Self-Blame or Other-Blame, taking too much responsibility or too little responsibility when something goes wrong.


There is a lot of material on these patterns of thinking if you’d like to learn more. Having these kinds of thoughts

can be part of the human condition. It’s what we do with these thoughts that matters. If we dwell on them, we can talk

ourselves right into anxiety. If we act on these thoughts, we can really make a mess for ourselves and others. Slowing

down and examining what is the truth and setting these distortions aside instead of believing them will also help pave the way for healthier living.


The Serenity Prayer, if taken seriously, has some of the answers to how you can feel better about whatever is

going on in your life in general and especially in these confusing times.


God, grant me the Serenity

To accept the things I cannot change...

Courage to change the things I can,

And Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His will.

That I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.


Amen.


Working on increasing your healthy coping mechanisms, learning helpful ways to deescalate anxiety, and adding

to your toolkit of anti-anxiety weapons is within your control. There is freedom in feeling more competent and in control

of your immediate circumstances even if the world swirling around us is in turmoil.


Having a therapist assist you to process struggles and life circumstances can be a rewarding experience and

valuable accompaniment along the way of your growth journey. Being able to tell your story to an attentive, non-

judgmental professional can be very therapeutic and help you to sort things out. Sometimes anti-anxiety medication is part of the answer. Additionally, there is no shame in medication to help the brain, just as there is no shame in taking medicine to help our heart or liver. Often there’s a genetic predisposition towards depression or anxiety. In those cases, the best outcome may be a combination of medication and therapy. There are many kind and knowledgeable therapists here at Holy Family Counseling Center.


Please don’t hesitate to give us a call and start your journey to feeling better. If you begin and end your day in prayer, I believe you’ll find that there’s less of a chance of your day completely unraveling in between.


Be safe and be blessed.


By Peter Attridge, Ph.D., LMFT June 4, 2026
This morning the Catholic app, Hallow , provided the following quote and I found myself focusing on the profound words of Fyodor Dostoevsky: “ To love someone means to see him as God intended him. ” This insight invites us to look beyond the surface, to perceive the inherent dignity and potential in every person, including ourselves. In a world that frequently emphasizes flaws and failures, this perspective offers a transformative approach to relationships and self-perception. The Challenge of Seeing Ourselves as God Sees Us Many clients grapple with feelings of inadequacy, guilt, or shame. These emotions often stem from past mistakes, societal expectations, or internalized criticisms. The struggle to see oneself through God's eyes is real and challenging. Yet, Catholic teaching reminds us that our worth is not contingent upon our achievements or the approval of others. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “ The dignity of the human person is rooted in his or her creation in the image and likeness of God ”. Understanding this truth is the first step toward healing. It requires us to confront and dismantle the negative narratives we've internalized. Therapy can be a valuable tool in this process, helping individuals identify and challenge these harmful beliefs, replacing them with a more compassionate and accurate self-view. Embracing the Gift of Self Central to Catholic anthropology is the concept of the "gift of self". As articulated in Gaudium et Spes, “ man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself ”. This idea emphasizes that our true identity is realized not in isolation but in relationship—with God and with others. To love ourselves as God intends is to recognize our capacity for love, vulnerability, and connection. Therapeutically, this involves fostering self-compassion and acceptance. It means acknowledging our flaws without allowing them to define us, understanding that we are works in progress, continually shaped by grace and choice. Seeing Others Through God's Eyes Once we begin to perceive our own inherent worth, we are better equipped to see others as God intended them. This perspective shifts our focus from judgment to empathy, from criticism to understanding. Dostoevsky's quote challenges us to look beyond the surface — to see the divine potential in every person, especially when they are difficult to love. Catholic social teaching underscores this call. The Church teaches that every individual possesses inherent dignity and that we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves . This love is not contingent upon the other's behavior or our personal feelings but is a reflection of God's love for all humanity. In therapy, I encourage clients to practice this approach by engaging in active listening, withholding judgment, and seeking to understand the experiences and perspectives of others. This doesn't mean condoning harmful behavior but recognizing the humanity and dignity of the person behind the actions. The Role of Boundaries in Loving as God Intended Loving others as God intends does not mean allowing ourselves to be mistreated or enabling harmful behavior. Healthy boundaries are essential in maintaining respectful and loving relationships. The Church teaches that love involves both self-giving and self-respect, and setting boundaries is a necessary expression of self-respect. In therapy, we work on identifying personal limits and communicating them effectively. This might involve saying "no" when necessary, distancing ourselves from toxic situations, or seeking support when feeling overwhelmed. Boundaries protect our well-being and enable us to love others more authentically. Transforming Relationships Through Compassionate Love When we see ourselves and others as God intended, our relationships transform. Love becomes less about fulfilling personal needs and more about mutual growth and support. This shift fosters deeper connections, healing, and reconciliation. Dostoevsky's exploration of love often delves into its sacrificial nature. In The Brothers Karamazov, he writes, “ Love is such a priceless treasure that you can redeem the whole world by it, and expiate not only your own but other people's sins ”. This profound understanding of love calls us to embrace the suffering and imperfections of others, seeing them as opportunities for grace and redemption. In therapy, we explore how to embody this love—by offering forgiveness, practicing patience, and extending grace to ourselves and others. It is through these acts that we participate in the redemptive work of Christ. Living Out the Vision of Love To love as God intended is a lifelong journey. It involves continuous self-reflection, growth, and a commitment to seeing the good in ourselves and others. It requires humility to acknowledge our shortcomings and the courage to love despite them. As a Catholic therapist, I am blessed to witness the transformative power of this kind of love. Clients who embrace their own dignity and extend that recognition to others experience profound healing and deeper relationships. They learn that love is not merely an emotion but a choice—a choice to see as God sees, to love as God loves. A Final Thought From the Couch Dostoevsky's insight challenges us to look beyond the surface, to see with the eyes of faith, and to love with the heart of Christ. It invites us to recognize the inherent dignity in ourselves and others, to set boundaries that protect and honor that dignity, and to engage in relationships that reflect God's love. As we strive to love as God intended, we participate in the divine plan of redemption, bringing healing and hope to a world in need. May we have the grace to see as God sees and to love as He loves. God calls us to love fully and fearlessly—but life’s pain can sometimes cloud our ability to receive and give love as He intended. If you’re longing to reconnect with that deeper sense of love, purpose, and spiritual peace, therapy can be a powerful companion on your journey. At Holy Family Counseling Center , we offer faith-sensitive counseling that honors your beliefs while helping you heal. Reach out today—we would be honored to support you.
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